Day 17: Meanness and Subtlety

Chakra: Solar Plexus

Meridians: Liver

Emotions: Meanness and Subtlety

Likely we have all been unnecessarily mean to someone when they annoyed us, did something to inconvenience us, or treated us poorly. This emotion can arise in us as a negative passion, and drive us to retaliate in a mean way. We want the other person to be put in their place. Emotionally speaking, it can cause harm to both sides when we react in this passionate way.

We balance meanness with Subtlety. Instead of dominating someone, or letting them tread on us, we have the option to correct the behavior and retain our stance with the use of subtlety.

Here is an example:

A father constantly criticizes his adult child about career choices, “I just don’t understand why you’d choose such an unstable job. You should have gone into accounting.” Instead of being mean, the adult child can respond with subtlety by saying, “I appreciate your concern, Dad. Stability is important to me too, which is why I’ve been strategic about building a career that fits my strengths. It’s working well for me, but I know that you are coming from a place of care.”

Another example:

Two partners are discussing weekend plans. The first, feeling frustrated, says, “You never take initiative in planning our dates. I always have to decide what we do.” Instead of being mean, a response with subtlety and poise would be, “I see that this is important to you. I do enjoy the plans you make, but I understand that you’d like me to take the lead more often. How about I plan our next outing?”