I start this path with excitement and nervousness. I am excited to see what unfolds, while nervous of the commitment and my ability to complete it. Matias invited us to embrace not knowing; to join him rather than be guided by him. We answer the call, and take our first step into the elemental wheel.
I am joining as a new mother. Our daughter was born 11/11/25 during a massive solar flare which launched the nuclei of hydrogen and helium atoms towards the Earth. After reaching the atmosphere, these particles slammed into oxygen and nitrogen, causing the sky to explode into an array of colorful lights across the Northern United States. It was a heralding in of a new beginning. Of life, of motherhood, of a new course in life that will no doubt stretch and expand me in ways I cannot possibly predict. It feels like an initiation, and I am endlessly grateful to be trusted with this sacred task; to shepherd a new life into a chaotic and unpredictable world.
For me this is The Great Unknowing. In the book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, Author Yuval Noah Harare argues that the Scientific Revolution began due to the Discovery of Ignorance. To acknowledge that we don’t know, is a shift from faith to investigation. This shift sparked the discovery of endless advances in technology, medicine, conquest and industry. It is a humble yet determined embrace of the next step, without the burden of responsibility to ‘get it right’. What does it mean to be a mother? What does it mean to activate the elements in one’s body? What will be the outcome of me sharing this journey publicly without the predictable playbook of past experience?
My intention for these three years is to give my daughter a solid foundation for connection to the divine, emotional regulation, and (if possible) a body capable of storing and expressing an advanced amount of her consciousness. Psychologists say that a person’s Ego is fully developed somewhere between the ages of 3 to 5. The importance of a parent’s contribution to this season of life cannot be overstated. This is why I want to make a sacrifice of time and attention. For my family, my community, and for me.
The first task for today is to press our heels firmly into the ground and say, “I Am”. My daughter Isha and I did it together. It occurred to me that this was the first time since she has been born that she has touched the Earth. As her tiny feet touched the ground, I could sense the connection with our Earth Mother. Here she is, she is here; another body to be portal between heaven and earth. Our first step on the path.
During the task of aligning with hydrogen, we sat together in front of our new altar. As I lit the candle, Isha became fixated on the flame. This is her first time seeing fire. I sang the sounds of the vowels to her. Something I’ve been doing every day for the past two weeks. I wanted to ignite the primordial sounds within her before we began. We sat in silence, then slowly and intentionally I announced that we are hydrogen, and
drank the water. Once I finished, Isha drank her milk along with the same affirmations. We sat in the stillness for some time. The affirmation was a proclamation of something so primordial that it felt simple and basic. Like, of course we were hydrogen. We close our first day.
I Am Hydrogen. I Am the Heartbeat of the Universe. I Am.